Counceling

If all else fails, learn to take care of yourself!

 

I've been seeing a councelor for a couple months now, and I realized it is the only time I'm away from my kids.  I finally asked for some help and took a couple days for myself.  Just me.  For the first time in a long time, I realized that to be a good parent, I needed to take care of myself first.  Consistent exercise has been a major part of my life for years now, but I needed more than that.  I needed time to just be me.  Yesterday I went to an autism meeting, got some cleaning done, talked to a friend, and went for a 4 mile run.  Let me tell you--that was pure therapy.  When I returned to my kids, I appreciated them more, and I was more patient and loving.  It was what I needed desperately, but never seem to get.  I hate asking for help, but I needed to.  If I could, I would take at least 1 day a month for just me.  Thank goodness for my family.  I trust them with the kids, and I'm grateful they are willing to help. 

 

For me, there is nothing better than a good cry, a little cleaning, and a challenging workout!  

Research

These studies were extracted from the book, "Autism Spectrum Disorders What Every Parent Needs to Know" Expert Guidance From the American Academy of Pediatrics 2013.  

www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/caddre.html.  Identifying biological traits of ASD's, and looking for causes and risk factors.

www.earlistudy.org Studies potential environmental and genetic risk factors that may be involved in ASD's.

www.niehs.nih.gov/research/supported/centers/prevention Studies exposure to chemicals such as lead, mercury, and pesticides on neurodevelopment disorders such as ASD's ADD, and developmental delays. 

www.nationalchildrensstudy.gov.  Examines the effects of genetics and the environment--air, water, diet, culteral and community influences, and family daynamics--on the health of children across the country from birth to 21 years.  This site is not working as of April 19th, 2013.


Now if only I had time to read them...

CHATT

Rough week...

 

All the paperwork is done, orientation done, schedule mapped out, and WEAP says we have to wait another month and a half.  I cried.  An 18 month wait turned into 26 months.  I wasn't happy.  So, I got down on my knees and prayed.  I prayed that I would make the right choice for Aiden.  I was worried that switching providers was somewhat of a selfish, impatient act, and I wanted to do the right thing.

 

I felt guided to call CHATT--childhood autism treatment team, and immediately felt good about changing our provider.  They are much more flexible with scheduling, and the doctor and I are on the same page about therapy hours for Aiden.  WEAP wanted me to do homeschool with 30+ hours of therapy a week.  Church would have been his only chance to interact with his peers.  He would no longer have time to play with his brother either.  Austin will be in preschool next Fall, and when he came home, Aiden would be in therapy until 5:30 PM.  It just didn't feel right at all.  It weighed so hard on my heart and mind, I woke up thinking about it.  But what choices did I have?  Thankfully, WEAP's delay was a blessing in disguise.  Aiden, welcome to KINDERGARDEN :) :) :)    

Winter/Spring 2013

Aiden's favorites for awhile...Peter Pan and Bambi.  He is almost always carrying Bambi, and he puts this costume on nearly every day since he watched Peter Pan for the first time.

 

Aiden is still a hugger.  I didn't even have to ask him to hug his little brother when I put him in his arms :)  Aiden-5, Ashton-9 months, Austin-3

 

Sledding!  Aiden and Austin just loved it! This was the winter that never ended...

 

Aiden likes to hide in the closet.  I gave them flashlights, and they were so excited when I shut the door :)

 

Again with Bambi.  You can kind of see the scars from the rash under his nose when he got really sick.  Thanks to that rash, I knew to take him into the doctor.  He had strep throat, and I had no idea.  He acted completely fine.  Aiden is rarely sick, but after that experience, I wonder how many times he was and I had no idea...

Easter 2013 at Grandma and Grandpa's house.  I was amazed that Aiden hid eggs on his own the very next day!  Imaginative play is coming!!!

 

Abe gets few moments with the boys due to his rigerous schedule as a student teacher.  Glad I caught this moment :)  I'm so curious what our Heavenly Father has in store for us when he graduates in May.  We have been students for 5 years...so grateful to start a new chapter in our lives!

 

 

Abe graduates, Aiden starts therapy...here we go 2013!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Team Leader

 

Sadness...

 

I met with Aiden's team leader last week, and it went so poorly, I had to phone a friend for support afterwards.  I don't know why Aiden attending Kindergarden means so much to me.  It upsets me that I may not have a choice but to homeschool Aiden in the Fall.  The Waiver program has changed since we went on the waiting list.  They have 2 options: 15-20 hours a week, or 30-40--no more 20-30.  It sounds like we will no longer be able to reduce hours once we start, which means Kindergarden just won't happen if we go with 30-40 hours/week.  I can't expect that many hours of attention from Aiden.  I argued that I didn't feel Aiden needed 30 + hours a week, and that I wanted him to be with his peers next Fall.  She was very clear that: 1) the science isn't there for <20 hours a week, and we should start with 30 for at least the first year, 2) stating that Aiden will attend Kindergarden in the fall would send up a major red flag for the Waiver program, who would be more than happy to kick us out if we go under hours.  I hate this so much.  Of course, I'm going to make the right decision for AIDEN.  When fall comes, I could completely change my mind, and I will be the first to admit that I was wrong.  However, I never do what doesn't feel right, and this just doesn't feel right at all to me.  I feel completely inadequate as Aiden's teacher, I have 2 other children to care for, and I feel there will be opportunities in the school district that I just can't provide--that includes opportunities to interact with peers!  Some will say I'm crazy, this is only 2 years, and the therapy is much more important.  I can't help but wonder though...what if I wasn't a stay-at-home mom?  What would happen then?  Aiden just wouldn't get therapy?  I don't know what is going to happen when Abe graduates in May.  Are we moving?  Can we even find a job?  Where do my children's education fit into all this?  Aiden is going to get a whole lot of attention starting in April, and I can't help but worry about my 3 year old.  Aiden and Austin are so close; what is going to happen to their relationship?  What about Austin's needs? 

 

If I could have it my way, Aiden would do 30 + hours of therapy all summer (we've already decided against summer school this year), then decrease his hours to 20-25 when he starts Kindergarden in the fall.  The only way that seems possible is if Abe gets a job and we actually have insurance.  Otherwise, we take the chance of losing Waiver funding, and starting all over.  I simply won't let that happen. 

 



Orientation

Parent Orientation Complete.  Let's get started!!!

 

So, all the other children yesterday were 2 or 3, and their parents had insurance to get them started right away.  I was happy for them, but sad for us.  Two things were made clear: 1) children should receive therapy before the age of 5 (already knew that), and 2) "50% of hours need to be before 3 PM the first year" (no surprise, but a constant stress for me).  I almost cried right there.  It didn't make me feel better knowing I was the only one in the group on the Waiver Program.  The wait not only took Aiden out of reach of therapy for TWO YEARS, it also puts us in a difficult spot when Aiden starts Kindergarden.  At this point, I have every intention of starting Aiden in Kindergarden at Adams School, and I will make that quite clear when we get settled with our staff.  I was instructed to talk to Aiden's Team Leader about this decision.  I HOPE he/she can make me feel a little better about our plans. 

 

One thing stood out to many of us.  I couldn't help but notice the parent next to me write in his notes, "no training...?"  Apparently, these aren't college trained therapists that are working with our children.  The line therapists working with our kids are recent High School graduates and/or college students with 40 hours of training in ABA therapy.  That is it.  Some of the therapists working with our kids will have very little experience.  One mom put it this way, "So, you are telling us our kids are guinea pigs?"  Had I known this ahead of time, I would have applied for a job at WEAP, become a therapist for someone else's child, AND MINE!!!  Who am I kidding though?  Who would have watched the boys?  And Ashton never would have been born.  I have to believe that the Lord's plan is part of all of this, Aiden will get what he needs, and still make great strides despite the delay in services.

 

Here are the things Aiden needs help with:

 

1) Communication.  Aiden can't carry a conversation.  Most of his speech is still echolalic.  He repeats lines from movies constantly.  For instance, Aiden just watched Peter Pan for the first time, and is repeating the line, "there is no splash Captain."  When asked a question about his new necklace, he is unable to state who gave it to him.  Obviously, this makes interacting with his peers very difficult. 

 

2) Potty Training.  Although Aiden is in underwear now, he doesn't initiate bathroom breaks on his own.  He shows signs that he has to go, but he will have an accident if you don't take him to the bathroom promptly.  Austin, my 3 year old, told me Aiden was pooping his pants the other day :(

 

3) Sensory.  Aiden will throw up and/or gag if he eats something that doesn't feel right in his mouth.  He hasn't eaten a fruit or vegetable in 3 years, and his food choices are limited to things that are very sweet, salty, or spicy.  Cereal, crackers, chips, spicy pumpkin seeds, salted nuts, cookies, and chocolate milk are the only foods he will eat.  :(  Aiden walks like a bear in public places, makes a "grrrr" noise often, and will hit his head and fall to the ground.

 

I'm hoping for miracles from these High School/college students!!! 

 

 

 

  

Holistic Medicine

Lost in a sea of doubt...

 

 

So, apparently, we all have leaky guts, which means the foods we are eating are poisoning our brains and causing all our woes.  Gluten and dairy are the devil, and we should all stop eating any form of them.  I spent FIVE YEARS studying nutrition, and the first time I ever heard of the "leaky gut" theory was during a session with a holistic physician.  At the time, I was single, a year out of school, and living alone.  I was very depressed.  In all honesty, I'd been depressed since the 6th grade.  My parents divorce tore our family apart, and I didn't handle it well.  Neither did my brother.  I struggled with an eating disorder in college, which I largely attribute to my unstable childhood.  Thankfully, my education in nutrition helped a lot.  I think I would still be lost in the world of an eating disorder without it.  Anyway, the doctor gave me a handout about "leaky gut syndrome," and said it was probably dairy that was causing my depression.  I did the elimination diet like he instructed to see what food/foods were the culprit.  Meanwhile, I was thinking...what?  Did I somehow miss the memo while I was busy working so hard to get through school?  But, I did the elimination diet anyway (you remove all potential food allergies and/or food additives at once, and slowly add them back in to test tolerance).  Guess what happened?  I FELT TERRIBLE.  Just terrible.  I remember calling the doctor and asking if this was supposed to happen.  He said, "most people get a headache".  I've never had a headache, and I still didn't have one.  I felt like I was in a fog and needed someone to pull me out.  But I didn't quit.  I was thankful when I could add things back in.  I felt so much better when I did!  Today, I'm happy to report, I've been depression free for 5 years.  I'm happier now than I've ever been, and that is because I have PURPOSE.  I would argue that holistic medicine DID heal me.  It was God who blessed me with my children.  Had I not joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints 8 years ago, I'm certain I would not have all 3 of my children; each of which give me more joy than I can possibly express. 

 

So, here I am again questioning modern medicine.  Although Aiden has progressed by leaps and bounds, I can still see the "look" in Aiden's eyes.  It breaks my heart to pieces some days.  So much so, that I understand why people turn to almost anything to try to take it away.  There isn't a day that goes by that I don't wonder if I'm doing what is best for Aiden.  Not a day.  What if I...is in the back of my mind every.single.day.  We started chiropractic care for Aiden a couple months ago.  His recent adjustment left him with a fever and a deep retreat into the world in which I can't pull him out of.  My heart is broken.  I hate that I can't do anything for him, yet, the things I try seem to hurt him more.  Aiden is now constipated because I removed whole grain wheat bread from his diet thinking I was hurting him.  I will note here that all of Aiden's labs came back negative.  No celiac disease, no vitamin or mineral deficiency--nothing.  So much for a "leaky gut"!  Aiden is absorbing something from his cereal, milk, and fruit snacks!!!  All that is left is time and prayer.  I need time to heal from all this, and so does Aiden.