Marriage

Couples with special needs children have a 80% divorce rate...

Although I'm not a big fan of stats, they do have some merit.  I understand this one.  From what I've read from other parents of autistic children, 1 person usually does all the work, all the research, and all the worrying.  That person is me.  I feel pretty alone in all of this.  Abe is in his graduate program, and his focus is on that and only that.  One of his classes is on special education.  When doing the unit on autism, Abe came to me with all this knowledge that I already cried, stressed, and worried over...a long time ago.  We don't talk much about Aiden, or anything else for that matter these days.  

Honestly though, I don't think that is what is driving us apart.  I love being Aiden's biggest advocate.  I am willing to learn all that I can to help him.  I go to all the meetings I can, and read all the information that is available.  Abe gives Aiden a lot of love, and I appreciate that so much.  He needs his daddy and just as importantly, a stable, healthy environment.  My parent's divorce made me realize just how important it is for a child to have both parents in the home.  That knowledge alone will make me fight for our marriage!

I know I need to change my attitude, be more positive and encouraging, and make more of an effort.  I wish I could get there.  The only thing that would work to change my heart is to pray.  I do want to change, but it takes work that I just don't have energy for--especially when baby #3 comes along.  I'm very nervous that the transition will be rough for all of us.  

July 11th update: The above was written months ago, and I'm happy to report that Abe and I are doing very well.  I've decided to focus on the wonderful things about Abraham--not the things that frustrate me.  He has been very supportive and loving despite my anger and resentment over the past 3 years.  He is a terrific father.  He works hard, and wants to finacially support his family.  He values marriage and our commitment to our children and God.  That is what is important, and I'm happy to report that my change of heart has strengthened our marriage and commitment to one another!