Happy Birthday Aiden!

I can't believe Aiden is 6 today!

We had a blast at UW-Whitewater's Aquatic Center on Saturday.  Aiden had so much fun going down the waterslide!  It was so much fun to see him so happy!  The therapists and I spent the last month getting him excited for his birthday.  How many more days until your birthday Aiden? (We do a daily calender.)  When is your birthday?  How old are you going to be?  What do you want for your birthday?  He can answer all of those questions except what he wanted.  I get it.  All of the above are number based, and then we asked him an abstract question.  Kind of like, what did you do at school today?  He still doesn't answer that one.  I'm so proud of Aiden's progress.  He is a great kid, and I wouldn't change him for the world!

"Wreck It Ralph" Cake with "Fix it Felix"

Austin and Aiden are ready to swim!

Presents!

  

Baby#4

I really can't believe it, but we will be a family of 6 in August!

Shortly after baby Ashton turned 1, I made the decision that our family was complete.  My hands are truly full, we have a therapist in our home for 2-3 hours a day 6 out of 7 days a week, and I'm working more than I'm used to.  I gave away all our baby items--bassinet, 0-9 month clothes, bouncy seat, etc.  I was mentally ready to enjoy the heck out of my boys and enter a different season of life.  Even with all the baby items out of our home, the feeling of peace never came.  In fact, I knew in my heart that I had made the wrong decision.   I fought it for a long time--several months--cried, felt angry, frustrated--every emotion possible.  Not that I wouldn't love another child, I just want to be ENOUGH to the children I have.  Now that I'm finally getting enough sleep, Aiden is getting his therapy, and Austin is thriving in school, I was finally finding balance in life, and some reprieve from all the stress of living off a student income and fighting for Aiden's needs.  From a temporal perspective, having another child made no sense at all, but from an eternal perspective, it was absolutely what the Lord wanted for our family.  I knew it.  Abe knew it.  It was just a matter of taking the leap of faith.  Finally, I turned to God, fasted, and prayed.  Please Heavenly Father.  If this is what you want for our family, please help me change my heart so I can do your will.  Please.  This is going to be hard, and I'm going to need you more than ever.  Please help. 

A great thing about prayer--it works.  I may not always read my scriptures, but I pray every single day.  I know the power of prayer, and from that day on, my heart was indeed changed.  I found peace again.  Peace that I could do His will, and all would work out.  Peace that I had finally made the right decision, and I could move forward with faith.  And so I did.  I'm happy and excited to report we are 2 months pregnant with baby #4--our final little blessing.  Time passes so quickly, before we know it, we will welcome a new son or daughter into our lives with open arms feeling grateful and blessed for the gospel that continues to lead us in the right direction. 

Aiden-6

Austin-4

Ashton-20 months

AJ (Abraham Jr) or Addison (Addy)???

2014

Goodbye 2013!

The first half of 2013 was very rough, but things started looking up about half way through when Abe graduated and got a job, and Aiden FINALLY started therapy!  We even got our basement finished after 6 years as a started project!  Looking back, I'm grateful it was such a struggle for us.  I have more love and empathy for parents with children who have special needs, and I appreciate having food, clothing, and shelter so much more after living on so little for so long.  Seriously feeling very grateful at this point in my life, and that is a blessing, even though we are still working hard to get back on our financial feet.  This is going to be our families year!

I'm excited for 2014!  Therapy is going so well for Aiden, he makes progress nearly every single day.  I'm praying Abe gets a full time job next school year so I can spend more days at home.  I'm starting an online fitness and nutrition business that I'm super excited about, and I'm going to finally become a Certified Personal Trainer (a goal of mine for the past 2 years!)  I'm very grateful to be moving forward in the right direction!

I think I've accepted the fact that Aiden is affected by autism.  The older he gets, the more I wonder what his life will be like.  Will the "I'm here, but not quite here look" ever go away?  Aiden will be 6 this month--2 years away from baptism.  I wonder if he will be ready to make that decision when the time comes.  What about Cub Scouts?  Sleep overs?  Aiden still struggles with bathroom breaks at times.  If left to his own devices, Aiden will eat cereal, drink chocolate milk, and any other sugary food/beverage he could get his hands on.  As a Dietetic professional, I worry about the health implications of that.  But, all I can do with any of my children is set a good example, love them, and eventually let them make their own choices.  Yikes!  Good thing the teen years are far ahead of us yet! 

Cheers to another year of change for our family!!!

Illness & Gloves

Just when I start thinking autism isn't affecting our lives...

 

 

Aiden continues to overcome so much day by day.  Honestly, now that Aiden is talking, sometimes I forget that autism is even part of our lives.  Then, Aiden has an "off" day, and I'm firmly reminded that Aiden will always see the world differently than I do.  I'm slowly learning that even though he can TALK, COMMUNICATION is a whole different challenge. 

 

Aiden is sick right now.  At the doctor's office he was unable to tell her what hurt.  He just agreed with everything the doctor said.  Even pictures didn't work.  Aiden didn't understand what the doctor was asking.  Yet, his ears and throat are red, and his chest is so congested he sounds like a barking seal.  If it weren't for the persistent cough, I would have never even taken him in.  He doesn't seem to mind at all that his body is not well.   

 

Then there was the glove incident.  Now that the weather is colder, Aiden always wears a hat and a specific set of gloves.  Well, we lost one of the set while we were out and about, and Aiden would NOT get out of the van.  He was so upset.  We couldn't find it anywhere, and the place we were at was closed.  After an hour, Abe finally dragged him out of the car kicking and screaming, "NO daddy.  NO!"  It took 20 minutes or so of deep pressure to get him to come back to us.  The next day he talked about it over and over.  Lucky for us we found the missing glove.  Aiden was so, so happy.  Something so simple, and he couldn't let it go.            

 

 

I'm reminded of a phrase from an OT, "to some degree, we all have some autism within us."  I've pondered this recently as we've taken on the challenge of remodeling our basement.  My schedule/routine/time is completely thrown off lately, and I feel unhappy, stressed, overwhelmed, and unorganized.  The difference is, it doesn't disrupt my daily life to the point where I can't function.  I recognize that this is a stressful time in my life, but that it is also a brief moment that will pass and get better.  I hope for Aiden's sake that someday he can recognize that too.  The art of "letting go" is a great challenge for many people, myself included.    

Holidays 2013

Ward Party--Trick or Treat 2013

 

Playgroup--Halloween day

My little monkey--Ashton

Riding a Dinosaur--Austin

We put up the Christmas tree early this year!

Ashton had fun too!

 

Overcoming autism!

I've read about it, prayed for it, cried over how to help him accomplish it, and it is happening!  

Aiden is overcoming autism!!!

I remember when:

• Aiden spent HOURS playing with pieces of a tree in the kiddie pool.  
• He ran away constantly at the park, mall--we just couldn't contain him.  The day we almost lost him for good at the mall will never, ever feel like a distant memory.  
• The moment in my car when Grandma said, "goodbye Aiden, I love you,"  and Aiden stared blankly in the opposite direction.  It was shortly after his diagnosis. 
• Aiden used to suck his blanket so badly that I had to sneak it away to wash it.
• When Aiden was assessed for the Talk and Learn Program he didn't respond at all to the speech therapist and maybe had 2 words at age 3.  
• At age 4 Aiden was still in a diaper and I was dressing him.
• I questioned my profession, my faith, and my ability to make a rationale decision for my son.

TODAY:

• Aiden plays with toys appropriately.  He is especially fond of his pirate ship and likes to find treasure!  The day he climbed a tree on his own I nearly cried--typical boy behavior!  The days of pushing cars back and forth and pushing stuffed animals in and out of chairs are gone!  He still clings to at least 1 stuffed animal daily, but he plays with it appropriately.  Right now it is a stuffed elephant that he named "Eli".
• After that day in the mall almost 2 years ago, Aiden stopped running away.  It is almost as if that moment was as etched in his brain as it was mine.  I still remember the emotion on his face as he watched me weep on my knees in the middle of the crowded mall.
• Aiden always replies with, "I love you too."  This is a new development, and I love it!
• Other than major food diversions, Aiden no longer sucks on anything but a sucker!  Now, if I could just get him to eat a fruit and/or vegetable!
• Aiden is speaking in FULL APPROPRIATE SENTENCES as of August 2013--3 months into therapy!  He had 2 or 3 broken sentences earlier that year.  He recently stood in front of our church congregation and said, "I'm Aiden, and I'm a child of God!"  Best day ever :)
• Aiden can dress himself and was fully potted trained by the end of the summer (age 5 1/2 ).  He does have some accidents at school, but never at home.  His aide thinks he is having too much fun to get up and go to the bathroom.  They take him on plenty of trips to the bathroom.      
• I can let go of elimination diets/leaky gut theory/the GFCF diet that "saves" kids from autism (if that is working for you great, but it wasn't our answer), my faith is stronger than ever, and I know that I did everything I could to get Aiden where he needed to be to succeed!  I know he will always have challenges, but I'm proud of everything he has overcome with pure love, patience, therapy, and prayer.  

New Beginnings

A year of change....

Celebrating 7 years of marriage at Wisconsin Dells just the 2 of us (that hasn't happened for years)!

Austin's first day of preschool.  

He has been wearing a backpack like his big brother for over a year waiting for HIS big day! :)

Aiden's first day of Kindergarten.  

It was clear from the start that this was the right decision; however, we had to change programs and give up 15 hours of therapy a week to make it happen.  Meanwhile, Aiden is exceeding our expectations with the CHATT programming, and making amazing gains in speech!  Some day he will be able to answer the question, "what did you do at school today?"  Sometimes, you just know in your heart what is best for your child.  I'm grateful for that :)  

Our new dog Loki.  She is a sweet dog, and we love her!  The boys were so happy :)  Now Aiden doesn't have to walk his stuffed animals anymore, and I'm not the only female in the house!!!