Educational Autism

Mentally done.  Physically done.  Breathe Marian just breathe.

Here I am sitting around a table with 6 other women and trying desperately not to weep.  We are in a good place with Aiden.  We don't live and breathe autism anymore.  Yet today, as I heard the psychiatrist talk about Aiden's struggle to fit in during gym class as she observed him, I lost it all over again.  I was that kid who felt alone and awkward in school--like I didn't quite belong.   Today, Aiden was that kid.  Gratefully, a confident kiddo took Aiden and said, "Come on Aiden.  You can do this!"  Shouldn't we all be like that?  The person who makes everyone feel like someone that matters?  I wish I knew the kid and his parents.  Perhaps I do.  If names could be exchanged, I would be calling that mom asking to hug her son and tell him how much I appreciate him for what he did.  

So that is how the meeting started.  Aiden is struggling to fit in, he is struggling to learn how to read, he is struggling with math, he is struggling.  What do I do now???

Yesterday we officially said "goodbye" to three years of therapy.  The therapy I worked so very hard to get for Aiden.  Yet, it was the right direction.  Seasons change.  Needs change.  Life CHANGES.  This change was right for right now.  So, what is next?  Will a tutor help Aiden?  Will additional help in school make a difference?  That was the purpose of our meeting today.  What is next for Aiden?  What does he need in place to LEARN?  

The boys were with me today.  The meeting went long.  Avery pooped and started writing all over the place.  He was tired because he didn't get his nap.  I put too much on our "plate" today.  I was pretty tired myself.  I haven't been sleeping well.  So much change.  Ashton started to talk back.  Austin was rude.  Nothing got resolved at that meeting, and I walked away feeling defeated and lost.  

What good came from THAT?!  Wasn't Aiden supposed to get an "educational" diagnosis so he could receive more help at school?  Why in the world is that necessary when he has a medical diagnosis and document after document that says he has autism.  Teacher "speak" went over my head and I was lost.  Too tired to fight back.  Too overwhelmed with my kids behavior.  

Stick a fork in me I'm done.  For now.  This momma doesn't quit!  Tomorrow is a new day!