Pregnancy

Aiden is going to have a baby brother or sister in May!!!

As indicated in my previous post, this was not a decision that came lightly for our family.  Between financial hardship (we are struggling to get Abe done with his final 3 semesters of school) and Aiden's challenges, this was a decision based on pure faith.  I knew in my heart all along that this was the right choice, it was just a matter of making the decision.  The minute I made it, we were pregnant, which was a bit of a surprise (I thought we would have a few months time).  So, here we are 11 weeks pregnant with baby #3.  How quickly time passes by.  Austin will be 2 this month, and Aiden will be 4 in January. 

Although they do not know what causes autism, current research is focusing on environmental and heritary factors.  I've read concerns about pesticides and pollution from highways (there is a higher percentage of children born with autism by mothers who live my highways--a possible link?), and I know several families who have autism in their history, and they have an autistic child.  I'm certain both factors play a role.  For us, I think it was family history.  However, I find myself holding my breath when I go jogging and a car drives by.  I wear gloves when I need to touch a chemical (I use mainly vinegar at home, which I have no concerns with).  I avoid paint fumes, and anything that may be an environmental hazard.  However, we live in a chemical world.  You can get BPA residue from receipts, plastic bottles and dishes...pesticides from fruits and vegetables (we cannot afford to eat 100% organic).  And so, I choose to live and let God take over.  Although I personally know a family, and I've read about families with several autistic children, the chance is about 5% that I'll have another child with Aiden's challenges.  Honestly, that isn't what held me back.  My fear is balancing my time between the 3 children.  I don't want Austin left out, and I want Aiden to get the attention he needs to learn.       

I played with the boys a lot today.  I pumped up the volume on the children's music, and brought in the toys from outside to play with.  Later we played with Playdo, trains, puzzles, wrote on the chalkboard, read some books, and did some flashcards.  Austin was quick as a whip.  He knew some colors, almost all the pictures, and put the puzzles together perfectly, identifying each piece.  This was the first time I spent a "therapy" session with Austin.  Honestly, I've been so focused on Aiden, I didn't even think to "test" Austin.  But, as expected, the answers came easy to my 2 year old.  For Aiden the questions are much more challenging and thought-provoking.  He seemed distant and distracted.  Although he is making great progress, it is still very hard to see him struggle with what should come easy and natural to him.  He will get there, I know, but it makes me sad some days.  Having another child will be difficult.  I feel like I've just found balance between the 2 children, and I'm going to distrupt it.  But, the decision felt right, and all I can do is have faith that it was the right one.