August 6th, 2011
My dear Aiden,
You are now 3-1/2 years old. I can't believe how quickly time passes us by. The more I come to realize this fact, the more I let go of the things that aren't important, and cherish the things that are. One of my favorite scriptures these days is, "seek ye first the kindom of God, and all else will be added unto you". I know this is true Aiden; I've seen it in my life time and time again. Miracles continue to happen. We always have what we need despite our struggles. You and Austin are my pride and joy. I can't tell you in words what being your mother means to me. Motherhood saved me from a deep depression. I have purpose now. I know you need a lot from me, especially now when your opportunities to learn are at their greatest. I hope I'm giving you what you need. God must have a lot of faith in me, because this is hard. There are times of great sadness, and times of great joy. I cling to every new word you say...every random sentence, and I pray that I can talk to you soon. There are times I don't understand, but I'm trying. It is hard to be empathetic when I've never had your challenges. I'm learning empathy from you. You are a very sweet and loving boy. You comfort your brother when he is upset. I love that about you. The other day you ran 1/2 a mile non-stop, and I was so proud of you! You have many gifts and talents Aiden, and I'm excited to see how they blossom and grow over the years. I love you just the way you are--sweet, handsome, and energetic! I'm grateful to be such a big part of your journey.
All my love,
Mommy
Autismom--Thank you so much for taking the time to read this blog, and to give me feedback! For some reason the blog will not let me respond to your messages! I read every one of them, and I appreciate your experienced insight! My email address is mccormickmarian@yahoo.com. I would love to be able to reply to you!
I know you read them. I can tell. I also know that I have probably helped you at times and have also overwhelmed you at times. I hope to do more of the former and less of the latter. I remember sitting on my family room floor and saying, "Dear God,I promise that if my son and our family get through this difficult time, I will never let anyone else who is experiencing this, feel so utterly alone!" This was a different time. No one knew what AS or PDD was! I continue to be active with parents and their children (many of whom are adults in need of housing now), but your blog just touched my heart so much! You remind me of a better version of myself back then.
ReplyDeleteKeep your sense of humor is the best advice I can give to you..you're going to need it. It's not easy, but you will find peace...many years from now. I'm right here and will not go away Thank you for your email and I will use it to contact you! By the way, you help me too...more than you will ever know!
I just love all of this!! :-)
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