Aiden is 12!!!

                                                                     Aiden is 12!

Time.  The years are simply flying by.  I'm going to be 40 this year, and Aiden just turned 12!  I'm so proud of the young man Aiden has become!  Aiden loves to laugh, play with animals (he is holding a squirrel here!), and hold babies.  He is the first one to offer comfort, and the first one to laugh out loud.  He is a joy and a blessing, and look how far he has come!  Some people would never know he was diagnosed with autism (and apparently, ADD). 

My concerns about services for Aiden were taken away today.  Aiden's aunt Lucy has supported Aiden academically once a week, and we just found out today that Aiden still qualifies for disability here in Utah.  Why would I apply for disability?  My husband asked the same question.  In WI, having that in place helped us pay for a tutor and after school activities that got Aiden active, learning, and engaged socially.  To qualify for disability here he was assessed by a psychologist (3 hours long!), and we had to do a lot of paperwork outlining how much Aiden struggles with academics (his only struggle besides food at this point).  My hope is that Aiden will continue to be supported financially as needed, as well as receive the services he needs to become a high functioning adult.  If he chooses to go to college, this label will help him pay for school and receive the help he needs to succeed academically. I am concerned that he will struggle to provide for a family someday.  You just can't live off $12 an hour these days!  He needs the best education he can get!  I really hope he chooses higher education.  I know he can do it with the right mindset!  (Yes, I am aware that he has 6 years left until graduation, but again, time is flying!)

Aiden is eating new foods!  He ate plain BREAD yesterday that wasn't loaded with butter and salt, and he started to eat pizza (of course it is only 1 kind of pizza from Papa Murphys, but I'll take it!).  Last month he even ate chicken and rice at Chipotle!  I'm so excited!  FINALLY some combination foods!   Next step, fruits and vegetables!

Moving forward with gratitude and hope for Aiden's future!  I hope the teen years are kind to him!

Moving (again)

Move #4 in 2 years, the mountains, becoming a man, and his first crush....

It has been 10 months since I have blogged about our journey, and in this case, no news is indeed good news.  Abraham and I have made the decision to relocate our family to the beautiful mountains of Utah.  This was our 4th move in 2 years, and I'm very grateful that the person in our home handling it the worst is actually...me.

Moving to Utah was purely a spiritual decision.  76% of the population here is LDS, and that was the only factor pulling us away from our home--and in my case--39 years of memories in WI.  Even though we lost Aiden's amazing tutor Joy, and I knew we would have to start all over with disability and financial support for Aiden, it just felt right to leave.  

Seeing Aiden and my other boys thrive here has brought me some joy.  For the first time in church, Aiden sat up straight and listened intently without drawing during the sacrament.  I could tell by his body language that Aiden was acutely aware that the girl sitting in front of him was important.  It turns out that this young lady not only goes to church with us, but is in the same class and lives in the same complex we do.  Aiden admits that he has a "crush" on Evie.  The shocking part for me was when she pulled out her artwork.  One of  Aiden's greatest strengths is art!  The 2 have taken to each other, and it is fun to watch. Aiden is growing up and becoming a man.  I encouraged my husband to give "the man talk" to Aiden, as soon enough, his voice will change, and he will need more than deodorant.  

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6th-grade work looks more like 3rd-grade work for Aiden, but that is ok.  It seems from our IEP meeting that our new school is going to meet Aiden where he is at.  Thank goodness. Although I would prefer not to homeschool again, I certainly would if I felt it would help Aiden.  

I needed something to get me out of the house, so I took a job working at a local school as a personal aide for a child with autism.  Honestly, I felt really prepared for this job until I realized that the 5-year old I work with has severe behavior concerns.  This was not something I really endured or had to manage with Aiden.  Yes, he ran away--which this kid does also--but Aiden never kicked, punched, spit at me, or hurt me intentionally.  I'm learning patience and unconditional love.  Although I understand the frustration this child must be going through as a new student with a unique perspective and poor social skills, no one wants to get punched or have spit in their face.  I have empathy for the family, gratitude for our own journey, and more appreciation for Aiden.

We are supported here, and hopeful that it will be a great new chapter in our lives as a family!

Aiden turns 11!

Aiden is 11!

This year, Aiden asked for a "friend" party.  Austin's party with friends was a huge success, and he wanted to have one too (nearly the entire class came)!  Concerned that his classmates would not attend, I encouraged Aiden to choose another option--Chuck E Cheese, please?  Aiden's response, "but Austin had a friend party."

Ok Aiden.

My concerns:

1) This was a new school for us (his first year)

2) No one knows me or our family

3) He isn't part of a lot of the "traditional" classroom settings (friends know he is special ed)

4) Aiden is "quirky" to some who don't know and love him

Would these things prohibit friends from coming?  I absolutely thought it would, but I did what Aiden asked and hoped for the best!

Sadly, I was correct.  Only ONE of Aiden's friends from school came to his party aside from his best bud Matthew (who also has autism, and works often with Aiden).

I was heartbroken.  

Thankfully, Aiden didn't seem to notice much, and helped his buddy get used to rollerskates for the first time.  It was so sweet.  We invited his brother to stay, and gratefully, our former neighbor came at the last second.  

So, it was a small party in a large building, but he had fun, and enjoyed putting together several of his lego sets when he got home.  I think I was hurt more than he was.

Sometimes I think we create the very thing we fear.  

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Moving forward in 2019

Aiden has a lot of support right now at school and with his tutor who is a beautiful woman of God who truly loves our son, and goes above and beyond for him.  He has made a good friend in Matthew.  As a woman of faith, I have chosen to listen and trust that moving forward we will do what is best for our children.  So, as we prepare to move yet again, I trust that Aiden will continue to receive the support he needs to learn the best he can.  Academics, following directions, and self-care are challenging for Aiden.  He will need support moving forward, and I know it will be there for him as we prepare for our next adventures...in Utah?!

Reflections

2019 is upon us!

Aiden--and our entire family--are thriving!  

Sometimes CHANGE is GOOD.  The new School District has been a great gift to our family. All 4 boys are in school this year, and doing well.  Aiden's needs are being MET.  For the first time, we had an incredible IEP meeting.  The principal was there, and Aiden was "in charge".  He actually ran the meeting!  I was so impressed, and I continue to be impressed with how well they have made up for the fact that Aiden missed 4th grade material!  Aiden is now SUCCEEDING in school.  He gets 100% on spelling tests (previously 1-2 correct) because they have taken it to HIS LEVEL.  No division or complex math programs--just multiplication.  I remember last year I actually had to stop the math lessons and give them to the teacher.  They were just too complex.  We also had to skip spelling lists.  He could recognize how the word was spelled correctly, but he couldn't spell it on paper himself.  It is a shock to me how much he has grown this year, and I couldn't be more grateful that the pressure is NOT ON ME for once. 

If you want a killer workout or a meal plan, I can nail that for you, but I'm not a special education teacher.  I'm so grateful for the people who are!  A special "thank you" needs to go out to Aiden's mentor Joy, who came into our lives exactly when we needed her.  She goes above and beyond for Aiden.  Two days a week, this beautiful woman of God takes Aiden after school to do homework, read, and socialize with a fellow classmate that also has autism.  There is no doubt in my mind that Heavenly Father had a hand in this!  It turns out, this other student is also Aiden's new classmate, and they have become good friends!

This is the first year in a decade where I feel I can breathe a little, and even have moments of boredom!  What in the world is THAT?! 

Even though our new home is a temporary one, we are thriving here, and happy.  It will be very challenging to move again next year, but I will go where our Heavenly Father wants us to go!  

Meals on Wheels 2018!

Back to School

Summer 2018-

*Move #3 in 1 year

*Reading/Caption Underpants/Dog Man

*Tutoring/horseback riding 

*PASSED level 2 swimming this summer!

*A Chinese student makes us a family of 7

We are ready for a fresh start back to school!

We were all set to homeschool Aiden again this year, then ARISE Virtual Learning decided that Aiden was going to skip 4th-grade material and go right to 5th DESPITE doing THIRD-grade curriculum last year.  

Absolutely not.

We are now in a new school district with our move, and I met with the Special Ed director and Assistant Principal.  I explained that Aiden needed 1:1 help for math, writing, and reading, and he didn't do grade level work last year.  They assured me they could meet Aiden's needs.  Honestly, I've fought so hard for this kiddo for 10 years...I was ready to give this to someone else.

I'm burnt out. 

Last year was a challenge on so many levels, and I'm grateful to be able to give myself some much earned/needed "time back".  I now have 4 hours for just ME every day.  For the first time in a decade, I have plenty of time to cook, clean, workout, and REST.

I just pray this is what is best for Aiden.   

Aiden continues to receive tutoring 2 days a week after school.  He has a wonderful teacher named Joy who is a gift and a blessing.  She came into our lives just when we needed her.

Our Heavenly Father loves and looks after His children!

First Day of School 2018

Waiting for the bus...impatiently

Neuropsychology

In a continued attempt to support Aiden's growth, the doctor ordered a neuropsychology consult.  

The results were tough to hear.  

After 2 and a half hours of testing, the doctor concluded that Aiden has a "mild cognitive delay" related to anoxia (lack of oxygen) at childbirth.  His medical opinion is that Aiden's struggle to learn and process information is not related to autism, but cognitive delay.  

The 2 are a different diagnosis.  

"Cognitive delay" is the updated medical term for mentally re....I won't even write it.

While these words keep running through my head, I still don't quite agree or believe them.  What we did agree on, Aiden is a visual learner and needs a lot more time to process information.  I was told by the autism specialist that IQ tests are not accurate for autism (Aiden's was below average a year ago).  This man was NOT an autism specialist.  

The positive from this?  Documenting our journey with EVERYTHING has provided Aiden all the services he needs to succeed along the way.  The 3 years of autism therapy wouldn't have happened if I wasn't diligent about seeking help and keeping the documentation.  This new "information" however I take it, will help Aiden receive the support he needs in school.  It was confirmed that Aiden is 2 years behind.  We WILL catch up!  He is a kind, sweet, good-natured kid and he is smart!

Personally, I think Aiden is going to surprise us all one day, and that isn't because I'm his mom.  I just feel it.  There is something beautiful about his spirit that is going to affect many lives for good, and what more can a mother ask for than that?!

ARISE

ARISE Virtual Learning was best for Aiden, but for Mom, it has been tough....

The Pros:

*Aiden was able to complete assignments at his level and in his time.  

*We were able to repeat 3rd grade because of ARISE (a closed door without a fight through the "traditional" school).

*We were blessed to have horseback riding lessons on Thursdays in the Spring and Fall through our former neighbor.

*I had 1 morning a week to spend with just Avery (my 3-year-old) while Aiden worked with an instructor.  We went to the library together :)

*We had 2 tutors who helped me with the constant 1:1 instruction.

*Aiden was able to return to the school of our choice to complete art class with friends.

The Cons:

*I feel burnt out from getting in and out of the van 8-12 times a day (ARISE 2 days a week, Art 2 days a week, karate 1-2 days a week, Scouts on Wednesdays).

*I struggle with patience, and that doesn't lend well to 1:1 instruction for 2+ hours a day.  You have to redirect Aiden often to get him to complete the tasks he is given.  

*I long for a time when I have more than an hour to myself each day.  I love my children, but working 14 hours a day is a lot for anyone (even workaholics like me!)

Ultimately, we decided to keep Aiden in ARISE for 4th grade (technically 5th) because it is what is best for HIM.  What is best for ME?  

A vacation!